ahhh.
graduation on wednesday.
it was very sad for me.
really.

anyway, an outburst of obsession!
FULL HOUSE




































and and and...





RAIN IS SO HOT LA.









okok i dont want my puasa to batal.
false alarm yesterday.
shucks, now i owe eight days of puasa!

alright, off to the market to run some errands...
and then STUDY TIME.

click here for graduation photos (courtesy of hayati's camera.. and mine. haha)

Blogged @ 7:56:00 AM




i felt very heartbroken on thursday, ie yesterday.
it seemed like everything fell apart.
i woke up the next morning (today) with a friggin headache from.. well..
i was pretty upset about what happened on wednesday.
i kept pondering.. what actually happened in between that seemed to make
everything go wrong.
if you dont know what i'm talking about, i'm actually talking about the clique.
what happened to us?
i dont think we should blame it on any individual.
maybe it's something all of us had done.
but WHAT?
why are there anmity between us all now?
WHY WHYYYY?
the saddest thing is that we shared a very strong friendship for 4 years, or do we still do?
i hope that day was forgotten and everything would go back to normal.

i thought i didnt really care.
but it was so hard not to, especially when graduation is next wednesday.
suddenly there was a strong gush of emotion in me on thursday noon during history lesson.
i just felt REALLY sad that i just HAD to break down - in the toilet cubicle.
thanks natrisha for being there at that time.
what saddens me more was what she said "you know your clique was the one that i envied."
and i starting bursting more into tears la.
but i'm ok now after drying my tears last night from my mom's comforting words.
i love my mom.
she wiped away my tears and told me to stop crying because she said as long as your bestfriends are still with me, i shouldnt worry too much.
i fell asleep while my sister was watching some chinese show.
heh.

alright, i'm gonna pretend nothing happened now.
at least that's what i'm good at.


last day of mendaki tuition tomorrow. :'(

goodnight. (:

Blogged @ 10:14:00 PM




uh oh.
i guess i am not good at taking up challenges.
there, i just updated before o lvls even started.
BUT I CAN'T HELP IT.
I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING.
the temptation is unbearable!!!
hey, at least i managed to stay away from here for about a month!
im not saying i dont go online.
being offline doesn't mean im not on the computer.
not being on the computer doesn't mean i'm studying right?
i dont know if anyone gets this message, but the point is.....
i feel that.... i havent been studying.
yeah, that's it.
confession confession

I HAVEN'T BEEN STUDYING.

:'(

i just cannot lie!
being the fasting month is here and all...
except i am not fasting because of you-know-what.
maybe that is why i'm updating.
because i feel so so SOOOOO STRESSED OUT.
maybe i am not showing it.
maybe ive been playing it too cool.
maybe i am trying to convince myself i am not stressed out.
but i AM.
i just feel it deep in my heart, you know, like... ARGH.
as a matter in(of) fact(HAHA! last island in the sun. nvm if u dont get this) i dont even know what is my main problem.

they probably aren't major, but because of DMS(During Menstruation Syndrome har har), the pressure becomes overwhelming.
like, the seating arrangement for prom, o lvls.... graduation... mock exams.
SEE! they arent even THAT major!!
or are they?

i wish o levels was like psle.
for PSLE,
if you dont study, you pass.
if you study abit, you do very well.
if you study very hard, you do EXTREMELY WELL.

for O LEVELS,
if you dont study, you fail
if you study abit, you do ok or might even fail.
if you study very hard, you do well.

i think i have been studying a bit.
and i think the prelim exams was OKAY.
i think prelim exams for the past years had been A LOT HARDER.
that's how i feel.
because for the first time in my entire sec4 life, i got L1R5 19.
but then again, i might be wrong.
that is just according to MY amateur calculations.
har har.
like what amanda said "WHO ASKED YOU TO DO WELL FOR PRELIM! THEN YOU WONT BE MOTIVATED FOR O LVLS!"
when she said that, i was like "HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THATS HOW I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW?!"
but then again, of course i didnt say that.
i just envied her determination to work REALLY HARD for o lvls.
HAHAH.


ALRIGHT, im not saying I WONT STUDY FOR O'S LA.
BECAUSE, i dont think i did well for prelims.
but alhamdulillah anyway for the results i get. good or bad.
hey hey i sense the motivation in me...\i think.

oh yeah, i wanna apologise if whatever i say seem to offend anyone.
i realise what i say only AFTER ive said it.

like just now, when hayati was asking ms tan about the 3mths MI thingy, they were like "what's the cut off point for MI?" and then i blurted heartlessly "i thought if fail also can get in?!"
at that moment, i felt like slapping myself. what did i just say?!?!?! you know how unfunny that was?! GOODNESS GRACIOUS. i am sorry.

ALRIGHT, gotta go help out in the kitchen now.
i guess ive vented out everything i wanted to.

there is just one more thing...
which i will reserve for my diary.
i just can't say it here.
heh.



ALL THE BEST FOR O LEVELS SEC4Es/5NAs
ALL THE BEST FOR EOY EXAMS SEC1s TO 3s!

Selamat Hari Raya in advanced (20moredays. HAH)
Maaf Zahir Batin.

(:

Blogged @ 5:53:00 PM